To the River by Don Gillmor

Don Gillmor's book "To the River" is the picture of our society's dark corner where most of the writers hesitate to explore. When I first  read the book's cover, I thought the book is about the death of writer's brother and the whole content might be his extensive journey in search of his dead body. However. as the pages keep unfolding I was hypnotized by the writing and the board knowledge on the topic 'suicide.

First of all, Don has vivid sense of past memory with his brother David who was four years younger than him. In their childhood, they did everything stupid, humble, fun. The family memoir was grounded on reality. Their parents moved to Calgary. As they grew up, David got married before his elder brother, Don, the writer. But David was different then his siblings. He loved music, gathering, pot. He involved in different bands. Later, he moved to Whitehorse with his new girlfriend. Don moved to Toronto to become the writer. Sister lived in Saskatchewan. Family divided in four different places. However, mom was their mediator. She would tell Don about David. 

When David was living in an apartment with his girlfriend in Whitehorse, he used to sing in the clubs and stay late night drinking and smoking joints. He cheated his girlfriend frequently picking new girls. As the days pass by he become physically ill as well. He started drinking heavily. Drinking, taking drugs, cheating his girlfriends resulted in separation with his most beloved girlfriend. Then he stopped drinking and cocaine. He started a decent job in a local book store as a manager. Everything seemed good. David's change brought happiness in the family in Calgary.

On day, David drove his truck to the Yukon river which was thirty kilometer away from the town. He parked on the side, put cowboy hat on the bank of the river and stepped into the frozen water. His body was discovered near the hydro dam thirty Km far from the truck. This was end of his life by suicide. 

Don, the writer with his seventy five years old father goes to Whitehorse in search of his lost brother. He meets David's new girlfriend and his close friends. Finally he lost hope when RCM discovered the  Dead body. With the heart touching narrative of his brothers death, Don explores the reasons why people end their life by killing themselves. He talks about a Calgary poet, and Toronto based author H.S Bhabra and their suicide. He explores the reasons why people kill themselves when they are in their most booming age. One reason according to the research suicide is genetic. It is in the blood. Second it is mental problem like severe depression or schizophrenia. Third is economic like joblessness, debt or unexpected penalty. Fourth is deteriorating health condition with addiction or illness. 

Suicide is looming in the society. There are many people who attempted suicide when they didn't see the option with the life. Death always comes with option. Another research shows that most of the writers committed suicide because they used writing as therapy. Once they know it is not helping them anymore, they choose the option of death.

This book speaks from the heart. It has a lot of resources on the topic. The writer has done enough research on suicide bringing multiple case studies to justify the death of his brother. 

 

    

 

The Power of Why by Amanda Lang

 Main Ideas

1.  How the curiosity and the ability to ask the right question fuels innovation and can change not only the business but also the personal life.
2. research shows that curious children are more intelligent than cold
3. allows the children to make mistakes without regrets so that they can learn something new.
4. if you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with the original.
5. American productivity is more than Canadian 44vs 33
6. curious students are happier than others, feel contained and the meaningful.
7. figure out what no one is doing and ask business related questions.
8. overnight success is always preceded by years of practice and experiment.
9.  innovation always comes with the problem.
10. permission to dream also gives permission to fail.
11. go to the stores where you have never been to and find out the unique ways they are using.
12. if you are going to follow you need to know exactly where you go.
13. be prepared to change the curse frequently
14. only frustration with life is it goes so fast and it is too short
15. get engaged
16. find meaning at work play well avoid the rush to judgment
17. talk to the strangers
18. understand how the strangers are seeing at you
19. try to see the world from your customer's eyes.
20. don't assume others think the way you do don't stop thinking about tomorrow
21. how my life will look like in 5/10/15 years. visualize and act on it
22. if you want to achieve the new height use the new technique

Memoir of the Moment.

 It is hard to tell anyone about the tragedy of life, hardships we are facing, pain that is shooting in our hearts. Nepal is my motherland. I was born, educated, and became a man, a responsible man. I worked there halfway through my life. I worked as a teacher from nursery to master's degree over fifteen years of my youth. Then came a turning point in my life. After marriage, we've decided to immigrate to Canada for a better future. It was our conscious choice. As a lecturer, I had an opportunity to apply under the FSW program in Canada. We thought it was a better opportunity for us as we were starting our new life with new dreams. 

Life is not structured as we see others. Everyone goes through different uphill and downhills crossing multiple obstacles. The world sees the flowers but turns his blind eyes towards the throne. Everyone sees a matured, fully groomed tree but nobody knows how many winters and hailstorms hit the tree since it stood on the ground. We saw life on foreign soil full of opportunities, romances, adventures. It is absolutely natural. There were storied to lure us, there are and will be. Forget it. We decided to apply for Canadian PR. And we did without our proper consent with our family members. However, there was implied consent as they always think that if we go to Canada, we can make good money and return home as a rich man.

After waiting for four years, we finally got a visa to Canada. Then we resigned from our job, packed our luggage, and boarded a plane with our two years son. It wasn't easy, I promise. I even could not figure out if I was doing the right decision. 

In a brief, I like to recall the days from my very school life and journey through the upheavals. When I was in school, the Nepal government was the dictator.  I did not know at that time how tough it was for our parents, today I can say that it wasn't that bad for my parents. They used to work in the field, pay the tax to the government as TIRO once a year. They never expected anything from their government. They cast votes for the local leaders. There was no regret. They used to plant crops like maize, millet, peas, wheat, rice, and vegetables. They have almost everything for food. They did not have to buy from the local merchants. I remember the things we used to buy were salt, some spices, and sweets. 

My parents used to buy books and copies for us with the hard-earned money. Cash was rarely available. There were poor neighbors who went to India to make some money. They used to buy some grains from us like millets and corns. It was the cash my dad earned and occasionally working as a local priest. I never knew that my parents complained about the government or anybody. They used to be much worried about the season or the weather. If there was no rain on time, there would be no crops. If there was no sun properly, there wouldn't be enough harvesting. They used to worship nature for better harvesting. I remember going to the Shrmuko rukh by a stream called Tirtire Khola. It was a big tree. It was said that the tree was the safeguard of our crops. If we failed to worship any year on the regular basis before each harvesting, it would bring misfortune. There was a big branch in the tree which was believed sprouted after my grandfather tried to cut it. Once he hit the first blow of the ax, there was some metallic sound heard in the house. Thinking it was an omen, he stopped. Later the branch came from the same place.  

Anyway, there are so many myths about this. I don't want to delve into it right now. I was lucky to go to school. At that time there were only a few children who could go to school. Most of the children of my village hardly finish their primary school. Then they went to India to work. I had an opportunity to learn even if we have to work and prepare food for us. However, the learning environment was not healthy. There was not the proper mentor for the right goal setting. There was no interest-driven education. In the first period of my schooling, the panchayat system and its fight with the democrats become dominant. We were used for the political interest of the leaders. 

When I was PCL level in Palpa, most of the days' classes were closed due to the revolutions and the Nepal Banda. Nepali Congress was in the government and UML was the opponent. They were always fighting for the chair. Then came the Maoist revolution. When I was in my bachelor's and master's degree classes, most of the days we were deprived of a proper education because of Nepal Banda. It was ridiculous to be kicked in our asses right after the exam without any reason. 

During my master's research period, there was a mass revolution against King Gyanendra who overtook power after Late King Birendra was assassinated in the palace. Maoist and all the political parties stood in one place and came to the dialogue table. Once the Maoists and the political parties decided to fight against the King, there was a mass revolution in Nepal which was known as 62/63 ko JANA ANDOLAN. When everyone was on the street, we also followed the same path. Everyday I used to go Kirtipur or Balkhu to participate in the protest rather focusing on my research paper. It was the predicament of all students. 

Then King gave up. Democracy revived. All the political parties united to bring Maoist party to the main political line. Everything was going good in the air, but the reality was same. Political parties started fighting like the dogs fight for the bone. The Maoist party merged some of its cadets in Nepal army. Prachanda became the first prime minister of the republic.  

After my master's degree, I started teaching in the schools and colleges in Kathmandu. Then after two years I moved to Hetauda for teaching opportunity to Master's Degree. It was a new place, new experience. Despite the stressful days in the beginning, everything went good as expected. I was the program coordinator for master's degree. Tough time hey! 

Anyway, everything went smoothly. Life never goes as expected. It was the time for marriage. It was already late in the context of Nepal or my family. It took me almost two years to find the match. During the time of looking for the bride, there were few girls who wanted to marry me. In fact, I wasn't in love any girl, but issues popped up. 

Then I decided to have a wife at any cost. I got married in 20009. In the same year, we decided to apply for Canada. I was thinking about it lately. When I asked to my newly wed wife, she happily agreed with my plan. She also said that Canada was her dream country. 

In 2010 the process was already on the year. We waited and waited for the positive reply form the Canadian government almost two years, nothing happened. We applied under fast track program which should be completed within nine months. Then my first child joined in our family in 2011.

In 2014, we got our process completed. Decision was made. Then we got the medical exam. Almost everyone was getting their passport request for visa. But did not get the passport request. We always thought positively. We were hopeful that after receiving the medical report,  the visa office in Delhi will ask for passport. However, it wasn't turned as we thought. Months after we sent our medical report, we heard nothing. Friend who applied at the same time had already been flew to Canada. It was the stressful time. 

Finally we decided to sent passport without request. We decided to take the risk of losing our passport. We lived the period of uncertainty. But the same life which strikes hard on our face gives a sweet kiss on our cheeks as well. We got the passports back with visa. It was a long waiting, we revoked the lawyer, reapplied, showed enough patience and finally got the visa. It was the moment of joy.

In 2014/01/28 we landed to Calgary airport and got the permanent resident status for Canada immediately. However, from the day we landed this land, another tough time began. We had two years son, so that both of us could not apply for the job. I took the job and my wife stayed home looking after the child. With out planning in the same year my daughter joined the family. Although we had a tougjh time financially, we were happy to have a complete family. 

Multiple times we fell and we managed to rise. We also went back home after two year for my brother's marriage. In five years, I visited  two times  where as my wife visited three times. It was also very expensive for us. However, we managed it.  I invited mom to Canada. She also stayed almost a year. I took her to Vancouver to visit. I also purchased a land in Nepal which has current value over $60000 Canadian dollar. 

In 20019 we decided to move to Toronto. It was big decision we made. It was a complete new move where we have to start again from the base. Time was tough. I started working in a bakery. There was no choice. I had no skill for any jobs that required skill. I had a plan to open a restaurant with a partner. We made a general partners and also registered a company named "Fishtail Investors Inc." As we started working on the restaurant business finding the location, the plague hit so badly. Covid-19 came as a horror. Most of the businesses closed during the first few months. We decided not to involve in the risky business. 

As the time passed, everything remained the same. The restaurants made good money. People worked normally, though so many retail stores closed. Government paid the rent, paid the unemployment money and supported the public. Although so many elderly people lost the lives, situation came under control at least till this time. I have got the vaccine. 

Life is life. It gives happiness today and a strong punch on the face tomorrow.    

   

 

 

भर्खरकी छोरी टिपेर हिडे

रत्नबहादुर बिहानै उठेर घरमुनिको जंगलभित्र  छिरे। बाँसघारीको तलपट्टी  टुक्रुस्स बसे र शिखर चुरोट सल्काए। धेरैबेर सम्म चुरोटको धुवा बाँसघारीमा रुमलियो। करिब पन्द्र मिनेटजतिको   तनक्क तन्केर भुइबाट एकमुठी झार गोडे र देब्रेहात गोडामुनिबाट छिराएर सौचकर्म पुरा गरे।

लालमतीले स्टिलको गिलास भरेर चिया ल्याइदी बाहिरै। रत्नबहादुर पिडिको खाटमा बसेर सुरुप्प सुरुप्प पार्दै चिया पिउन थाल्यो। उसको बाबु जितबहादुर भैसी दुहेर भित्र छिर्दै थिए। छोरालाई खाटमा   पलेटी कसेको देखेर झनक्क रिसाए।

 'हेर! तिनमानामा बढी दुध दिने भैसीले पन्द्र मुठी पनि दिन छोड्यो। हरियो घाँस खोजेर काटे हुने। अलि चरप्प खान पायो भने अलि दुध दिन्छ कि। यसरि लाठसाप पल्टेर हुन्छ। "

रत्नबहादुर बाबुसंग मुख लाग्दैनथे। नबोली उठेर हँसिया , नाम्लो बोके र खरबारितिर लागे। 

गाँउकै पहिलो म्याट्रिक्स पास गरेका रत्नबहादुर निकै फुर्तिला र रातापिरा देखिन्थे। भारतको बनारस गएर पढेका उनि गाँउकै पहिलो शिक्षक थिए। स्कुल गाँउको बिचमा एउटा सानो खरको छानो भएको टहरोमा बनाइएको थियो।  एक, दुइ, तिन गर्दै कक्षा पाँच सम्म पढाई हुने त्यो स्कुलमा जम्माजम्मी बाह्रजना  बिधार्थी पुगेका थिए। पछि अरु शिक्षकहरु बाहिरबाट थपिए। सर्टिफिकेट देखाउन पर्दैनथ्यो। किताब समातेर पाठ पढ्न सक्ने र लट्ठी समातेर बिध्यार्थीलाई  घोक्न लगाउन सक्के अबल शिक्षक ठहरिन्थ्यो। 

रत्नबहादुर हेडसर थिए। धेरै वर्षसम्म उनि नै हेडसर भैरहे। उनको इज्जत गाँउकै मुखिया हिरालालको भन्दा माथि थियो। उनलाई चिनेजती सबैले नमस्कार गर्थे। कामको खोजीमा लाहुरे बनेका छोराहरुलाई चिठी लेखाउन र बाचन गर्न पनि गाउँका सबै मान्छेहरु उनको घरमा जम्मा हुन्थे। बिहान दश बजे स्कुलमा पुगेर घन्टी ठोके पछि उनि सबभन्दा पहिले आफैले सबै विध्यार्थीहरुको हाँजिर गर्थे। हेडसर समयमै स्कुल पुग्ने भएकोले पनि होला अन्य शिक्षकहरु पनि ढिलै भएनी राष्ट्रिय गानसम्म भेटाउन पुग्थे। 

केहि वर्षपछि रत्नबहादुरको दैनिकी परिबर्तन हुन थाल्यो। बिबाह, बर्तबन्द, चाडपर्बहरुमा सबै  गाउलेहरुले उनलाई बोलाउन थाले। उनलाई सबैले सम्मान गर्थे। बिश्वास गर्थे। अप्ठेरो मानि मानि भएपनि  संगै बसेर जाडरक्सी पिउथे। कसैले पनि उनि स्कुल गएको, नगएको, पढाएको, नपढाएको बारेमा चाँसो दिदैनथे। अर्थात् गाँउलेहरुले उनीमाथि पूर्ण भरोसा राखेका थिए।  

गाँउमा कोहि बिरामी भयो भने सबैभन्दा पहिला हेडसरलाई सोधेर मात्र अस्पताल लैजाने हो कि लामा झाक्री लाई देखाउने हो निधो गर्थे। रातभरी कुकुर बिरालो झैँ झगडा गर्ने लोग्ने स्वास्नीहरु एका बिहानै पालै पालो उजुरी गर्न उनैकोमा पुग्थे।  कसैको गाईबाख्रा फुकेर अन्नबालि नाँसिदियो भने दुवै पक्षका मान्छेहरु उनैको आँगनमा टुप्लुक्क आइपुग्थे। कसैको स्वास्नी पोइला गइ भने, कसैले सौता हाल्यो भने, कसैले भर्खर कोथाएको छोरी हिंडाल्यो भने पनि उनको घरमा पुग्थे सबैभन्दा पहिले। उनि नै यस्तो अदालत थिए कि जुनसुकै मुद्दाको पनि फैसला भैहाल्ने। खै के जादु थियो कुन्नि हेडसर नै सिङ्गो गाँउको समस्याको समाधान थिएँ। 

देशमा पन्च्याती ब्यबस्था फालेर बहुदल भित्रियो। परिबर्तन संगै मान्छेहरुको बिचारमा पनि परिबर्तन हुन थाल्यो। लोग्ने स्वास्नी बिचको झगडालाई गाँउका केहि महिलाहरुले महिलाहिंसा भएको भन्दै समस्या सुल्झाउन भन्दा उल्झाउन तर्फ बढी लागे। गाँउ गाँउमा एनजीओ, आइएनजिओ भित्रिए। महिला समूह गठन भए। हेडसरको काम यी संघसंस्थाहरुले गर्न थाले। 

एकदिन गाँउका केहि महिलाहरु हेडसरको घरमा आए र उनलाई भने , " गाँउमा धेरै दिदीबैनीहरुले लोग्नेबाट दिनदिनैजसो पिटाइ खाएका छन्। मानशिक रुपमा उनीहरुलाई यातना दिइएको छ। आज तपाइकोमा आएर आजैदेखि मैले स्वास्नी पिट्ने छैन भनेर कसम खाएकाहरु फर्केर घरमा नपुग्दै भकुर्न सुरु गर्छन।  अब महिला हिँसाको बारेमा तपाइले मिलाउने होइन। यो काम हामीहरुलाई गर्न दिनुस।" 

हेड सर केहि बोलेनन्।"अरुको झगडा मिलाउने काम छोड्नुस। मान्छेको जातलाई गुन लगाएर फाइदा छैन। बरु कुकुरलाई कलो दियो भने मालिकको भलो गर्छ मान्छेले गर्दैन। हिंजो पनि मास्टरले बाहुनको पक्षमा निर्णय गर्यो।  हामि दलितलाई हेप्यो भनेर मेलामा कुरा काट्दै थिए। अब त मान्छेहरु पनि के के जाति नाम गरेका पाटीमा लागेका छन् रे" , मास्टर्निले भनिन्। 

हेडसर पनि चुप लागेर बस्ने मान्छे कहाँ थिए र।  उनले भने "मैले निर्णय गर्ने होइन। सल्लाह माग्न आएकाहरुलाई सल्लाह दिने हो।  कसैले अरुमाथि अन्याए गर्छ भने उसलाई सम्झाउने हो।  तपाइहरु आफ्नो काम गर्नुस। म मेरो काम गर्छु।"

Girl Decoded by Rana el Kaliouby

 Rana el Kaliouby, CEO and co-founder of Affective is an Egyptian girl/woman/scientist. Her book "Girl Decoded' is about her journey from the traditional Muslim family in Egypt to a top scientist of AI to teach human emotions to the machine.

 As a Muslim girl, Kaiouby was a modest cultural girl like every other girl in the middle east. In the Muslim culture, girls are not allowed to go to the public without a male escort or chaperone.  Kaliouby considered herself lucky having both parents graduate in computer science. Her mother was the first computer programmer in the Middle East. 

Kaliouby has spilled her emotion and intelligence in this book. As a college girl, she used to read the faces of her friends who were secretly in love. When she graduated from the Cairo University, she went to Cambridge London for her Ph.D. She researched the human facial expression and made it possible for the technology to recognize it. According to Kaliouby, it is impossible to be away from apps installed on our cell phones and computers. But human communication without emotion is senseless like a robotic relation. 

With her dedication, hard work, and consistency in her dream project, she became able to bring emotional intelligence to artificial intelligence. In the book, she has beautifully presented her emotions while living in America, going through the dark days of her divorce and chasing her dream project as many people think as absurd. This book can be inspirational to many girls living around the globe who are bounded by cultural limitations and geographical boundaries. If one has a solid dream and ready to work on it no matter how many obstacles one has to overcome, one can reach their mission. 

WHISTLE BLOWER BY SUSAN FOWLER AND IN PURSUIT OF DISOBEDIENT WOMEN BY DIONNE SEARCEY

 In the month of June, I have read two memoirs written by two female writers from different backgrounds with their experience with life, work, and society. 

The Whistle Blower is a memoir of a girl from a poor family who had a big dream to work in a good company as an engineer. She had mentioned in the early chapters of the book that haw hard it was to be born in a family who had limited resources to educate their children. Although it was hard to fight with the outer world in terms of materiality, she learned good culture and strong morale being a christain. 

While pursuing her big dream, she joined Uber company as an engineer in silicon valley. It was the tech hub of the USA where most of the largest IT companies located. As Susan started working in a team, on the very first day she got a text message from her manager purposing for sex. He was intending for an open relationship with her and also texting about his past life of sex. It was mind-boggling for her since she was just starting the job and did not know the manager even personally. She reported it to HR hoping that HR can help her in this matter and the manager would be punished for his act of indecency. 

To her surprise, the HR lady told her that since it was his first offense, they could not do anything. Then she was silenced sending her for the vacation. After she returned from the vacation, she was given the choice either to work with him having a bad review of her performance, or move to another department. She felt alone. Later she moved to another department and joined the female engineer group. She came to that there was many other female staff who were sexually harrassed by the same manager.

Not only she was sexually harassed, but she was also constantly abused, mistreated, her performance review was revoked purposefully, her transfer was declined. Her manager told her that he knows what to do with only those who had the 'title engineer' but not the skill. She was also mocked when the company branded leather jackets were distributed for the female after her fight with the department who earlier denied buying any jackets for the female staff, but only to the male. 

There were staff who committed suicide due to the racist culture of Uber and also many of them had suicidal thoughts including herself. Finally, she quit the job and joined another company. In the same year, she published the blog about UBer's culture Travis Kalanik stepped down from the CEO. She felt relieved. To sum up, this book is an eye-opener for the employee who works for the big companies where the working culture is somehow murky, discriminatory, sexist, racist. 

In the Pursuit of Disobident Women by Dionne Searcey is a memoir about her personal life, professional life as a reporter for Times Magazine. Besides, this book is about Boko Haram of Nigeria, women in Boko Haram militia, and challenges she faced as a reporter in a wartorn zone. 

Leaving her home in the US with her three kids and husband and making stories of the terrorist group in Nigeria was horrific. However, she has presented the story in such a way that while goosebumps raise with the word of Boko Haram, she made laugh with her sense of humor. When she was meeting with leaders of Boko Haram about the girls kidnapped from Chibok, it made her nervous being surrounded by the militia with Ak-47. She also interviewed the girls who were under the detention of Boko Haram, they said that they were taught how to kill people in the name of their God. 

There are so many issues she raised in this book about the hardships of the citizen living in Boko Haram-controlled areas. The girls who were kidnapped by Boko Haram were forced to marry the commanders. After being released from Boko Haram some of the girls wanted to defend their husbands who were still the commander of the terrorist group.  Killing, poverty, corruption is pervasive. She at last says,' if Nigeria becomes a failed state, Europe will fail, and if Europe fails, so does America. This how she presented the balanced view on both Africa and America. When she was talking about the killing of the children, civilians by the police, and militia with her children, her son Luther asked her why they were not going back to America. In response, she honestly says that there is white police personnel who are killing black people. She says that there good and bad thighs everywhere in the world. Boko Haram was not started by the bad people. When the citizen was not heard by the state for the long and silenced by guns, they will fight back as the last resort. 

She also presented Laos as a beautiful city of Nigeria full of skyscrapers and art and culture. The book is full of information and inspiration to those who wanted to take the risk with reward.