Human Face Hippo

I searched the cheapest flight, two way YEG-Toronto; April 3-6, 2019.  Computer algorithm gave me a few deals; one of them was Blair Airlines. Rates for  tickets was $277.00. Pretty exciting deal, right? Then I decided to proceed and entered all the information. At the time of final check out, one option pooped up; travel insurance. I declined, but it did not go through. I accepted and did wind up paying around $300.00

The day I arrived at Blair counter, a black guy approached me and asked if I paid for my carry on bag.

I had a laptop bag with a pair of clothing in it. I said,”no! This is a laptop bag. Why should I pay for this?”

 He had a unwelcoming demeanor and quirky look. “ You have to pay for your carry on, sir. This is an oversize.” 

“What is oversize?”, I argued.  

He showed me the measuring box at the entrance of bag checking area. I placed on the one which was supposed to be free. It was so f****** narrow that my pair of shoes hardly fit on it. 

“How come you guys deceive the customers? I have never paid to this bag in domestic or international flight. I wish I had booked to other flights”, I said.

“ This is truly understandable. But you have pay.”

“What is understandable?” I fired back.

He remained quite. 

“ How much should I pay for this luggage sir?”, 

“If you pay over the counter, $50.00. If you pay online it is just$36.00.”

I paid online 37.86 with tax. Wonderful!

Then I passed through the security check to the Gate no#10. There was no one at counter. The passenger on the sitting area were distinguishable ‘C’grade.  I classify them as C grade looking at their complexion, wrinkles and the amount of light in their eyes. Some of them were holding 7 Eleven coffee and desperately waiting for the boarding.

After waiting about an hour, the final call announced. I saw the same faces at the counter whom I encountered earlier.

We lined up for the boarding. There was endless arguments on the lines and frustrations on the faces of the passengers. As soon as I entered through the cave like entry door of the plane, nobody was there to welcome. However, smelled the welcome of pot. It was so pungent that it triggered  headache immediately. 

I followed the narrow passage to reach my seat which 9-FB. It was a middle seat. I threw my backpack on the carriage on the top of my seat and occupied the seat. Then a colored lady about 200 lbs came next to my seat towards the window and another a big fat stinky Caucasian male sate

I was sandwiched in between two hippo-human mass. Breathing was difficult, however I managed pulling myself forward time and again. 

After fifteen minutes a lady, I don’t call air-hostess because Air hostess mean something different in my mind, announced, “ please listen carefully, we have tea and coffee to be purchased. Refill will be free if you keep your cup holding. You can also buy samosas and chips. We accept bills, visa and debit cards. We are sorry to say that we don’t accept american express.”

“Really?” I sighed. I have never heard that a air passenger has to buy a cup of tea or coffee or a glass of water on board.  I saw a young couple opposite of me, laughing out loud of their ass. Since I had a coffee before boarding, I politely refused the offer. I saw only few passengers were actually buying. 

Again, I smelled a pot so pungently. I summoned  a lady rising my hand who was standing at the far corner and nicely reported that I smelled pot. She smiled and said, “ really?”.

“ Don’t you smell? Or, you are not allowed to smell?”, I asked.

“No, sir. Nobody is allowed to smoke in the plane. You might be wrong! Let me double check “, she walked off.

It was totally understandable that smoking was strictly prohibited on the board. But somebody might be carrying the fresh directly from the farmers market because the plane was flying from the capital of poppies. 

Soon the plane was echoed with the cry of babies and ‘ krakkruk’ sound of the chips. Hippo-female on my left was the one who was savoring the round dried potato chips with vinegar and species. Now, I knew how the human turns into hippo. 

I wanted to pee. Lavatory was seven rows past to me. I wobbled to the toilet which was “oversize for them and undersized for me, a tiny skinny fellow. I hardly turned back after pee. There was the lady standing on a line who was sitting left to me. I wondered how come she fit in the lavatory. I saw her pushing inside for a while and turned to the lady with a complaining gesture. I could not hear what they talked about, I she looked at me and laughed a silly laugh. The lady gave her something, and she came back to the seat. I saw her restlessly moving to and forth. Then she covered my side with a blanket and stretched her legs. 

“What?” I whispered.

I saw her hands moving under the blanket as if she was changing the pantie . I turned my back. Holly shit! I nearly threw up! I raised from my seat up and went to the front and complained to the staff-lady. She apologized for the inconveniences and moved me to the another seat at the far back that was vacant fortunately. The lady told me that she was oversize for the lavatory so, they gave her plastic pee bag so that she could pee sitting on her seat, though it was unacceptable for Blair Airlines. She also told me that the manufacturer of the Blair Airline was going to redesign the plane soon with extra-large lavatory with extra charge. 

After forty-five minutes of first round sale, they pushed the card for second round sale. I ordered a can  of beer. The lady politely refused to sale. “ Seriously! “

I said ‘thank you!’ for refusing the service. I saved $8.50. It was a smart saving not buying the beer at the first round of service. But I did not understand why they refused selling beer  when we had still two more hour to fly in the sky. They were selling snacks throughout the flight. Blair airlines is comparatively cheaper than other flights, but as they charge for the carry on and snacks on the planed the price match wind up the same. 
Around 2215 hrs the plane grounded at Pearson International Airport, Toronto. I waited at terminal three, gate-7 for Raghunath Dhakal who was supposed to come to pick me up. But he was waiting for me at Terminal -1 which was far from terminal-3. We met each other after an hour. We did not really communicated the terminal but the gates, so we were both right waiting at gate-7. 
It was already midnight when we came out of the airport. We searched for the Uber since they were cheaper than the cabs, there were non close by. Then we took a connection train to the subway station and arrived home, Ontario Road, Downtown Toronto at 0105 hrs.